The most important question

In recent days I was thinking intensely about what to write on my blog. How am I supposed to write about something, about which I have (never), and so I could offer the readers a new, different look on life and situations they face.

After all, no matter who we are, what we are, what we’ve got, how many we own or possess, we are all from the same “material”. 🙂 We all meet different life challenges. On the cover of my first book, I got under the pictures of Leon Štukelj, Oprah Winfrey and Albert Einstein the quote: “You have all what they had, when they were at the beginning.”

There is no difference in the starting blocks, there are all winners, everyone has an equal chance to finally win, the difference shall be made during the course (read life). Through the challenges of life, the trials and experience acquire new skills, abilities, talents, we discover what we didn’t know before, and when we think we can’t do it, we’re going to fall apart under the weight of all our problems, from somewhere, we find that the “power”, which helps us to take a step forward, is in us.

At the end of the tunnel is always a light, in the distance we find a solution or another “sign”, that reminds us, all is well. “We look after you, we take care and love you.” Secondly we would like to make the flow of events faster, so we put more effort, energy, work, sorrows in it, but it can throw us several steps back, rather than to make three steps forward.

So what is the most important issue, which I mentioned in the title of this article? The question is: WHY? What, this is this? That’s all the wisdom? The question is why? Come on, Robert, stop, this is too easy. Best to go one at a time and …

Let’s take for example you want something, you have some dreams, desires, and goals. You want to achieve something, or there is somewhere you want to go, or to be with someone. No matter, what’s going on and what are your ambitions, the most important to me is, that the people become conscious “why?” we want something.

People, who are sick and are faced with a variety of health problems and trials, have only one goal or desire – to get better. This is a wonderful and a laudable goal (purpose, desire), but what happens when a person heals? What will be different? Will something change? Her / his perceptions and feelings in a different way? Relations will be more loving and more joyful?

When we get in a situation, such as a health test, than at the beginning we are looking at all corners and places, that will quickly lead to the goal, to get better, to come to the improvement. Just to get as soon as we can into normal life. I am not an exception, as far as I am concerned my hearing and everything, that has been happening in the last two years.

I just kept wondering: “How to improve my hearing? What to do, to hear clearly? Which method to use, that will spur move forward?” The questions “How do I” are in certain situations extremely good and helpful for us to take a step forward, to instead of bellyaching over the situation, find possible solutions. However, the universe has often with us other paths, than we think.

Instead of a fast recovery, we are literally forced to stop, and yes to stop. Take a breath. Be in the moment. Do nothing. Although this is difficult, it is also necessary. Do nothing. Be at peace. To turn outwards turn rather inwards. Meditate. Stroke yourself, be more loving and accepting. Give yourself a smile and a kind word. No one else but yourself, your body, your heart, your soul and you must really feel, live it and be more aware.

My research eventually focused from “How?” to “Why?” And so instead of questions: “How do I improve my hearing?” I asked the question: “Why do you want to hear?”. I took the paper and I started to write, write and write – anything that occurred to me in terms of “Why do you want to hear?”. In your case, you can ask a question: “Why did you want to get better?” or “Why do I want to get married?” or “Why do you want a new job?” or “Why do you want a new car?”, etc. etc. The possibilities are endless.

With this simple exercise something is very surprising (at least it was for me). For some big words you come to more subtle ones, personal and intimate things. For me, the answers were different: Because I want to talk on the phone. Because I will hear my audience more clearly. Because I will be more confident. Because I’m going to trust in myself. ‘Cause I will have more success in business. The reasons, why, were just coming and coming one after another.

Eventually, I came to  deeper reasons, and they did not even related to business or material success, or anything else in terms of recognition, to be better than I am, so I came up with three very simple answers: Because I can hear the music, birdsong, the murmur of water. I can hear my beloved person whispering tender into my ear. And this, of course, victory: Because when I will have a son or a daughter, I can hear how they call at me: “Daddy, daddy, look what a beautiful tower I’ve made”.

And so we come to the realization, that the most important things in our lives are those, who are mundane and related to our loved ones – our family. We see that our deepest motives are often tied to it – one way or another to take care of our family. Despite the “spirituality” and the wish to live “spiritual”, our most important motives are tied to our family, as the primary cell.

The love of a partner, a child may be the deepest motive, a push forward, inspiration, to do more, than we would have done. Somehow we cannot run from our “tribal” frameworks. What we all want is only love. And if we love our close ones it is a big enough motive and if we open our hearts, then miracles are not miracles, but an action of love.

When you will set a goal next time, you should first ask yourself, what motives are behind it or in other words: “Why would you want to realize this goal?”

I wish you to be accompanied by an abundance of inspiring moments!